THANKS FOR A BAD CALL!

November 24, 2006

Victoria Elizabeth Is a B.A.D. Blogger

ME Strauss wrote this at 8:41 am:

Blogger A Day Call: Hello is Victoria Elizabeth there?

Don’t tell the folks in England, but the folks in Canada are only pretending. They might speak to the monarchy over there, but they have a queen over here. She must be royalty. Not only is she called the Quipping Queen, her name is Victoria Elizabeth. You can’t get more stately than a name like that.

Victoria Elizabeth and I have lot in common — she’s a Quipping Queen and I’m a saloonkeeper’s daughter.

Once we said hello, Victoria Elizabeth and I spent 3.2476549388254 seconds on the weather and another 2.99875655 seconds talking about her work experience. Victoria Elizabeth, aka the Quipping Queen, was in Business Development and Strategy. Then she found she liked it better, putting those skills to work as a consultant. She’s been online in one form or another since 1994.

Maybe it was QQVE’s online experience or perhaps it was her royal influence, but we were quickly off the surface and deep into human behavior. We talked about the individuality of bloggers, about how fiercely independent we are. Our conversation included the difference between networking online and networking in person. The Quipping Queen suggested that online connections are specific and narrow — if I want to know about some obscure something, it’s easier to find people who are into just that — blogger relationships are more efficient than real world relationships in that way.

I get jazzed when someone hands me a thought I haven’t had before. I’ll be cooking that one for few months or so.

Victoria and I talked about small talk and perceiving information, how they are really the two ends of one linear spectrum. We covered the topics of innovation and creativity and the reasons that schools and businesses don’t support them. We discussed seeing the elephant the room, how a good idea shifts the balance of power, and what makes folks who live by group think get uncomfortable. For a while there, Joseph Campbell’s Power of Myth was topic on the table.

Let’s just say that we didn’t waste .000000000000001 second on trivial conversation.

Bloggers are intriguing, intelligent people.

B.A.D. Blogger Quote:

If you want to buy stuff off the rack, you might not appreciate what bloggers have to offer. –Victoria Elizabeth aka The Quipping Queen

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Quipping Queen owes a big debt of gratitude to a Liz Strauss over at http://www.successful-blog.com for her kind remarks and thoughtful insights into the wonderful world of blogging.

QUIRKY COCKTAILS FOR CURIOUS FOLK

Or, drinks that would dazzle a dunderhead

By Theolonius McTavish, an irksome Irish inwit with a nose for naughty names, an ear for merry monikers, an eye for pedantic pieces of piffle, and a twisted tongue that enjoys a tankard of titillation, “An Irish Kiss”, or a “Blarney Stone Sip” to sustain his unique form of insanity.

Cocktails are designed fill in time while waiting for some fetching bit of eye-candy to stroll by as much as to whet a whistle.

Care however must be exercised in selecting just the appropriate aperitif to fit the occasion. After all, one doesn't want to appear being a klutz when it comes to choosing a cocktail.

For example, if you’re not a cowpoke with clean boots, it’s not a wise idea to order “42 Flying Mules”, a “Broken Spur”, or a “Buffalo Chip” unless of course you’ve been invited to drop a wad of cash into the hat at a delightfully dull Democratic Party fundraising event.

On the other hand, if you’re invited to attend a Republican Party fundraiser sponsored by the religious right, you had better think twice about sneaking a surreptitious shot of “Elephant Lips”, “Easy Action” or an “Extra Fuzzy Navel” (without the President’s permission). No, this is not the time for “Pink Elephants on Parade” either!

If perchance you’re enjoying an afternoon equestrian event, avoid ordering “A Furlong Too Late”, a “Headless Horseman”, “Horse Feathers” or a “Horses’s Ass” because the bartender is just as likely to flog your fancy fetlocks when you’re not looking!

As for the formal farewell dinner you're hosting for your blankety-blank boss, you may want to forget about ordering a round of “Bitter Experience”, “Bonehead”, and “Braindead” or that all time favorite, “Burnt Turkey”, (unless you’d like a pink slip to match your “Pink Lady”).

Weddings are wonderful occasions to honor two lost souls who happened to find each while tip-toeing through the tulips one spring day, but it’s not really the right place to toast the bride and groom with a “Sally Fudpucker”, “Seduction on the Rocks”, or that slippery special “Sand In Your Shorts” (as they head off on their three-day honeymoon to Hell Hollow, New Hampshire).

And last but not least, after a grueling day on the links, never invite your buddies to partake in a “Skinny Dip”, indulge in “Sex on the Sofa”, or suggest a “Shit on the Grass”, (unless you're prepared to live with the consequences of bad timing, poor judgment, and a lousy golf swing)!

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And, if you simply must have more mirthful mouthfuls of marvelous stuff, do drop by one of the most interesting and intelligent imbibing sites I've visited recently.

THE QUEENDOM OF QUIPPERY

Or, how in the heck does one find this spot of twee and glee?

By Victoria Elizabeth, Her Royal Majesty, The Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity, whose castle, crown and cataleptic courtiers can often be found lollgagging about in the Land of Flakes, Fruitcakes and Nuts, (otherwise known as the capital city of Beautiful British Columbia, in Canada of course).

Visitors to the Queendom of Quippery often drop by this spot of spoofery quite by accident rather than intent, (as the following list of search engine keywords used to find this bodacious blog might suggest).

I thought it appropriate to share with my rapscallion and ripsnorting readers just how many wayfaring wafflers happen upon this bit of bumpf while perambulating or putzing about this great, gorgeous, and gripping universe filled with all manner of trifling topics designed to tantalize the eyeballs and tickle the mind.

For those who can’t manage to sit still in their seats while flapping their gums, twiddling their thumbs, and wiggling their ears like the rest of the world's wonks, here is a random assortment of weird words and phlegmatic phrases that have been used to open the drawbridge to drollery in the Queendom of Quippery.

• Best place to find bears in oblivion
• Broomcloset marketing
• Dingbat Queens
• Fairy Godmother’s closet
• Hellhole Palms, CA
• HMS Surly
• Honey Harbour
• How Now Brown Cow
• Is Unalasaka boring?
• Jesters toast
• Never kick a gift horse in the mouth
• North Carolina masquerade balls
• Origin of lollygagging
• Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario
• Real estate in Slapout, Oklahoma
• Rude Boy Chardonnay
• Shoe stores in pei ugg
• Snob Hill Chardonnay
• Things to put on a resume
• Tiddlywink tournament
• Twelve days of Christmas parodies
• Virginia odd spots to visit
• When life gives you lemons

So, the next time you type “things to do on a boring day” into your web browser, odds are that the Guru of Gaffes & Guffaws, (in charge of internet search engines), will probably send you off on a gleeful goose chase to my neck of the woods.

Who knows, if you smile, bow ever so graciously, and say the magic words that every munchkin knows…you may be lucky enough to be awarded one of our prestigious and pretentious titles like: Duchess of Dweebery, Earl of Extended Knecks, or Patron Saint of Pointy-Heads & Piffle.