GOING WHOLE HOG IN THE YEAR OF THE PIG

Or, how to avoid being hogtied in the Year of the Pig

By Theolonius McTavish, a raucous road hog with a penchant for pickled pigs toes, Black Forest ham, and Canadian back bacon.

If dogs look up to us while cats look down on us, it's not surpising to find at least one barnyard beast that treats us as equals. It's affectionately known as a dirty old pig.

And since 2007 has been declared the Year of the Golden Pig by Chinese astrologers, who are we to argue!

Now's the time to get a wiggle on and go the whole hog to honor all people, places, and things piggy!

• All road warriors are advised to pick up a gas-guzzling Harley-Davidson brutish-sounding bike, better known as hog".
  


• For those who can't save their money or adore counting if not hoarding pennies, it's time to buy a piggbank!
  


• Pig-Pen personalities can finally come out of the closet!
  


• Yup for those who aren't picky about food and don't like brushing their teeth, have we got something for you...a popular piggy tune!
  


• For vertically-challenged crisis-prone critters who are having trouble being b-b-brave...it may be an opportune moment to learn a few words of wisdom from "Piglet".
  


• Gluttonous grunts need no excuses to pig-out on bacon, ham and pork chops(just ask Lisa the Vegetarian)!
  


• And what would the world be without Pink Floyd and pigs!
  

So, whatever you do this year, be nice to pigs, be they the fuzz with flatfeet, ...the muck-loving, potbellied, slippery, thick-headed variety ...or the higgledy-piggeldy ones who have a hard time finding things right under their snouts.