10 REASONS TO CELEBRATE MARCH

Or, is March really a mad month?

By Patience Pantperhog, a jovial journalist and casual collector of missing socks whose best friend, Tarantula Tulip suggested that she get a life instead of inventing one for readers with way too much time to waste

In a nutshell, (if one enjoys consuming one's daily intake of proteins that way), March is the third month of the Gregorian calendar, according to all the trivia buffs.

Besides being named after the Roman god of war, Mars, (which may account for why there’s so much madness floating around in the universe), March offers at least ten reasons to justify if not celebrate its existence.

1. It’s an opportunity to cleanse one’s colon and become a friend of fibre; (how many folks can’t wait to celebrate “National Kidney Month”)!

2. It’s also “National Nutrition Month”, which means learning to love Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and Popeye’s favorite food, spinach!

3. “Women’s History Month” sounds like a superb way to learn more about the merits of a matriarchal society, how to break through the glass ceiling, and where to find Prince Charming and that gall-darned glass slipper.

4. Hard rock and birthstone collectors will be pleased to know that March is a great month for picking up some aquamarine or diamonds to match one’s teal green satin lounging pygamas at "Mardi Gras" (from February 23rd to March 9th).

5. "International Women’s Day" (on March 8th), is one day to honor women of spunk, sass, and substance, after all without them washing would be a drudge, meals would not be ready by 6:00 pm, and dust bunnies would rule the world.

6. Astrologically speaking “Pisces” and “Aries” born during the month will be happy, and why not…after all, doesn’t the human race need more gullible, self-pitying, temperamental, if not brash, bossy, and self-centered characters?

7. It’s also appropriate on March 17th (St. Patrick’s Day), to sport shamrocks, kiss the Blarney Stone, wear green, and lollygag about with the help of a few libations and leprechauns.

8. The appearance of the vernal or spring equinox (somewhere between March 19-21), is a nice reminder that since spring has sprung, green thumbs everywhere can make mudpies, watch grass grown, or at least talk to trees as they please.

9. Hoop and holler types will enjoy any excuse to watch a 20-day basketball tournament held by the NCAA Men’s Division Basketball “March Madness” Championship.

10. March may come in like a lion and go out like a lamb, which is great news if you’re a member of the animal kingdom, but it may be more helpful to check out the latest weather forecast on weatherbonk if one wants to locate the clouds with silver linings or ponder the reason why one is suffering from something called SAD (or seasonal blahs).